First off I have Asthma. Yeah that’s right the breathing thing. If I run too much or breathe in dust then its like…BAM! I can’t breath. I’ve been to the emergency room more than seven times because of it.
Anyways, when I use my inhaler I start breathing normally. I owe my life to whoever invented the damn thing. Kudos to you Mr. Inhaler inventor. I love you.
I have also been living in Maine for two months.
So, my inhaler ran out a week ago and I just called in a refill a few days ago. I went to go pick it up today.
In line at the pharmacy.
I wait for the lady in front of me to leave.
She does.
I step forward and tell the pharmacist that my name is Matt Schlicht (”Schlicht..S-C-H“).
She looks around in the back and finally goes and gets the old-man-pharmacist.
He comes over to me and says “Come back in fifteen minutes, I need to call someone”
Well OK then. If that’s how its going to be.
- 15 minutes later -
Old-man-pharmacist: “Does California mean anything to you?”
Me: “…uhhh…I lived there?”
Old-man-pharmacist: “Anything else?”
Me: “…its…a state?” (By this time I’m thinking maybe I should be getting him a refill on something…)
Old-man-pharmacist: *Blank stare* “…I see.”
Me: *Raised eyebrow* (Is this guy on crack?)
Old-man-pharmacist: “Your prescription is at a pharmacy in California.”
Me: *Pause* “Well why the hell is it over there?!”
Old-man-pharmacist: *Shrugs/makes creepy face* “Did you pick it up?”
Me: “…” *My brain shuts down*…*Tempted to start cussing*…”…Did I pick it up?…In California?…No…How would I even do that?” (Yeah he is on crack)
Old-man-pharmacist: “…Well, I’m going to call them and make sure. Come back in an hour.”
At that point in time I desperately try to explain how it is impossible that I picked up my refill. I am in Maine. The refill is in California. I can’t teleport.
He didn’t believe me.
I leave the store.
So, if anyone has spotted Matt clones running around California (or anywhere for that matter) please contact me immediately by phone or email. Also, if you have secret information that I can teleport then that would be nice to know too.
Thanks.
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