Beer for Brains

Ahhh, what a crazy night last night. It all starts when I get back from 7-11. I’m on my way to put my purchases in my room, and walking up the hall, I can smell the weed, just like every night. Every single night, A—— smokes weed, and sometimes with some friends, in his room. I didn’t think much of it, becuase it happens every night. I ignore it and make my way over to the restroom in preparation for a long night of calculus homework.

The time is about 11:15 PM and walking out of the bathroom stall, I hear the paper towel dispenser going crazy. A—— is standing there, pumping away at the paper towel dispenser. He’s got a growing mound of paper towel on the ground. “Hey, you think you got enough paper towels there?” He replies, “Oh, ha, yea. I forgot I was even doing that. We spilled a lot of water.” Bong water? I think so. Just as I walked out the bathroom, i can smell the weed more than ever, “A——, spray some more air freshener. It smells like shit out here.” He starts spraying like crazy, and just then, the door to the hall opens.

Through the door comes, Noah, some sort of authority (but not a cop) who’s intended to be a first response to narcotics situations. Noah questions A—— if he’s been smoking weed, if there’s anyone else in the room and advises him on what to do when the cops get here (which he has already informed). And despite the fact that it is “quiet hours”, I had my door wide open, enjoying the free entertainment. There was quite the crowd in the hallway and directly outside. There was Noah, two resident advisors, the four or five guys who got busted, and the cop; all constantly going in and out of the room. At one point, one of the RA’s comes over and whispers, “you should close your door,” being that it’s quiet hours and all, it’s not much of demand or that surprising for that matter. But I reply to him, in an oh so whitty mannor, “but this is free entertainmen. Calculus can be pretty dry at times and I’ve been waiting this to happen all year.” “Ok,” and he chuckles and leaves. After the cop had collected all the involved parties’ information, he’s taking all the “evidence” to his car, and randomly decides to ask A—— how his gravity bong worked. This was the icing on the cake for me. I almost burst out into some mad laughter just watching A—— explian to the cop who was “just curious” how a gravity bong works (Hah, and I’m speaking with so much authority on the subject; I have no idea how a gravity bong works either. I don’t smoke). In the end, it was a bit dissapointing because these guys got rolled for having weed, but no one got arrested. Well, no one smoking weed, anyways.

Still high, A—— runs back inside yelling through laughter, “O— just got ROLLED!!” I had no idea what was going on. I had just heard that A——’s roomate, O—, had come back from his frat, DSP, after being hazed a little bit, and he was very, very drunk. So I just assumed that maybe an RA was talking to him about it or something. No. O— was getting arrested for a drunk in public charge.

And it was around 2 AM when A—– got a call saying that he had to go pick up O— from the county jail. “Keon, can I borrow your car?” My BMW? No fucking way, man. So, to cut a long story short, a couple of guys made their way over to the county jail, only to find out that O— is still drunk and were told to come back at 4 AM. I was asleep by then, but O— eventually made it home. And I guess, now, his parents have made their way down here and are talking to him.

Ahh yes, what a great, entertaining night.