Friday January 19th.
Does that date sound or look special in any way? To me it looks exactly like last friday besides the numerical difference. Apparently however, it is the most specialistbestist day in the history of all fridays.
Why?
Because some mexican calling center code named “The Department Of The United States Congress of Finances” decided it was.
I woke up today to my first cellular attack. It was early in the wee hours of the morning.
8:49 AM - RING RING!!! With an angry passion my phone attempted to wake me up.
Muahaha, you think that will work on me? I am impermeable to rude awakenings!! Do not mess with the sleeping god. Ruler of pillows. Protector of blankets and all that is soft and warm. The Sandman….
8:51 AM - RING RING!!! FINE I’LL WAKE UP ASS HOLE! WHO THE HELL CALLS THIS EARLY ANYWAYS!? God damn phone.
Sleepy/Zombie Me: “…Hello.”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, is Matt Shict there?”
Sleepy/Zombie Me: “Yeah, this is him.”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, Matt. You have been randomly selected by the department of the united states congress of finances to receive a huge cash amount by tomorrow morning. The US department rewards its citizens who pay their taxes on time. It is required due to a clause in the documents pertaining to the department of the united states congress of finances.”
Sleepy/Zombie Me: *huge pause*
Sleepy/Zombie/Confused Me: “Alright scammer, adios muchacho!”
BEEP
Yeah..the they think they can scam me. Pshh…I took care of that guy.
10:30 AM - RING RING!!!
Slightly Pissed Off Me: “Hello?”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, is Matt Shict there?”
Slightly Pissed Off Me: “…Yeah, what do you want?”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, Matt. You have been randomly selected by the department of the united states congress of finances to receive a huge cash amount by tomorrow morning. The US department rewards its citizens who pay their taxes on time. It is required due to a clause in the documents pertaining to the department of the united states congress of finances.”
Slightly Pissed Off Me: “Dude you already called me. I don’t want to do this. I’m busy damn it.”
BEEP
1:00 PM - RING RING!!!
Hungry Me: “Yeah?”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, is Matt Shict there?”
Hungry/Sceptical Me: “Yeah, hi.”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, Matt. You have been randomly selected…”
Hungry/Angry Me: “Ok dude..stop stop. Stop calling me.”
Mexican Dude: “This is not a scam. Is your address ___ ___ ____ ____?”
Freaked Out Me: “…ummm…yes?” (It was)
Mexican Dude: “Well if I could just get some more information…”
Freaked Out Me: “Hmm, well…SCAMMER!”
BEEP
3:46 PM - RING RING!!!
Bored Me: “Hello?”
Mexican Dude: “Ello, is Matt Shict there?”
Bored Me: “God damn man. What do you want? I know this is a scam. Jesus christ leave me alone.”
BEEP
3:47 PM - RING RING!!!
Annoyed Me: “What?!?”
Mexican Dude: “This is Matt? Why do you keep hanging up on me?”
Annoyed Me: “Because this is a scam. You know it, I know it. Leave me alone.”
Mexican Dude: “This is not a scam, I swear, talk to my supervisor.”
Annoyed Me: “…fine.” (This should be interesting)
Supervisor: “Hello, is this Matt Shict?”
Interested Me: “Yep, whats up?”
Supervisor: “Ello, Matt. You have been randomly selected by the department of the united states congress of finances to receive a huge cash amount by tomorrow morning. The US department rewards its citizens who pay their taxes on time. It is required due to a clause in the documents pertaining to the department of the united states congress of finances.”
Interested/Amused Me: “Dude this is a scam. Why don’t you just call someone else?”
Supervisor: “This is not a scam! You are being rewarded for paying your taxes. The government gives back to the people.”
Amused Me: “Haha, yeah alright man whatever you say. Bring your scam somewhere else. I’ve never paid taxes…ever. So suck it.”
Supervisor: *pause*
BEEP
FINALLY!!! I think I convinced them. The damn Department of the United States Congress of Finances can not control me!
But possibly you.
So watch out for nice mexicans that claim that they are calling on behalf of this fictitious department. The government does not want to reward you.
At least I hope so…
…Wow, how stupid would I look…
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