Beer for Brains

Breaking News! The Sun is setting! The Sun is doing that thing it always does again! I can’t believe it! 5:14 PM, like clock-work.

So it all started when I was taking Matt to get a drug test for a job at Albertsons –no, scratch that; it all started when the Big Bang happened and the Sun and Earth were created. Anyways, Matt and I were driving up Grand Avenue, heading up into the Cal Poly campus, minding our own business.

Conversation was slow.

Radio was a bit boring.

We were just anticipating shooting some hoops, getting some exercise then chowing down at Denny’s. But all that ambition died away at this amazing sight. Holy shit! A real news crew!!!

“Live Action 6 News!” shouted Matt.

“I wonder what they’re doing a report on?” I pondered.

“Maybe a soccer game? That’s the soccer field, isn’t it? I bet they can’t film on campus for legal reasons.” Matt rambled on, “I bet they have to get special permission or something.”

“No dude, that’s just the practice field,” I retorted. “Plus, I was on TV right here on campus during move-in week.”

Trying to be clever, Matt jabbed back with, “Well, is this road we’re on even a part of the campus? Does Poly own it?”

“Yeah dude, this is the campus.”

Unwilling to lose, “well, I bet they got special permission that time,” Matt replied.

Pulling into the parking lot, we saw the camera man walking back to the news van, with it’s antenna pointing high in the air.

“Dude, pause here,” Matt commands…

I remember thinking to myself: “What the fuck? ‘Pause Here’? Who the hell says that?”

Matt rolls down the window, “Hey! What are you filming?”

Some underpaid hippie camera man unwillingly shares with us: “We’re doing a live shot.”

No shit? LIVE!??! I couldn’t tell by the fact you had your fucking van and it’s antenna sticking way up the sky’s ass. Nonetheless, Matt and I were stoked. “Dude! Maybe it’s delayed! We can run up to my dorm room and turn on NBC.” “Yeah, but delayed like maybe 30 seconds.” “You never know…” “Dude, no. It can’t be that long of a delay for this sort of thing.”

“I still wonder what they were filming.” (I had somehow gotten Matt convinced it wasn’t soccer).

“Maybe they were filming the sunset…”

“HAHAHAH. Oh yeah, ‘Breaking–’ HAHAH.. ‘Breaking News! The –’ HAAH ‘S-s-sun is setting!’ HAHA.” I couldn’t control my laughter. Matt had joined in with an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I hadn’t ever heard him make those noises before. He started punching me. “Dude, shut–HAHA–up! Shut the–HAHAHAH–fuck up!”

I continued to tease. He gave up punching. Maybe because he was laughing too hysterically. But he hadn’t given up on the sunset theory. “Dude, it’s viable!”

But he gave up on that too and started joining in on laughing at himself. “Oh man, it’s 5:14 PM, the Sun’s doing that thing again!”

Oh man, we were both crying from laughing so hard. We literally went on for like 3 solid minutes, laughing, well, more like whimpering. It was intense. I laughed even harder than the time Matt punched me so hard during a funny situation that I couldn’t tell if I was crying from laughing so hard or the pain.

…but that’s a story for another time.

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