Beer for Brains

Yep, we’re all trying video. So heres mine. Its all about getting rich fast and shaving my head…[Watch Video]

Yeah…apparently I’m a dick. Who knew? If asked to describe myself I would tell you that I’m a nice guy with a touch of lime, kneaded, rolled, cut out into little christmas trees, and then baked at 410 ºF for 10 minutes or until light brown.

But no. I’m not a bunch of tasty cookies.
I am a dick.

Today Keon and I were shooting some hoops outside the dorms. You know, working on our game and playing some casual one on one. Well, this one chick walks by us coincidentally at the exact moment that Keon, aka the god of all that involves baskets and balls, air-balls a shot. For some strange reason she finds it necessary to comment…[Keep Reading]

Friday January 19th.
Does that date sound or look special in any way? To me it looks exactly like last friday besides the numerical difference. Apparently however, it is the most specialistbestist day in the history of all fridays.
Why?
Because some mexican calling center code named “The Department Of The United States Congress of Finances” decided […]

A German woman is suing a foster agency, after her teenage foster son ruined valuable naked photos of her - by comitting an act of self-love all over them.

Marietta Anton, 50, who now lives in Portugal’s Algarve, was 25 when she was photographed naked by her boyfriend at the time, Sigmar Polke. After they split Polke went on to become a world famous artist, and the old pictures were valued at over £35,000.

But when Anton’s 15-year-old foster son Mehmet found the old snaps, he thought he had unearthed a secret porn stack, and proceeded to do what teenage boys will do…[Keep Reading]

…[Comment]

So its the morning of Tuesday the 5th and i’m taking a shower at 10-something AM for my 11AM class.

Well right as the frothy soap suds of my shampoo start to get nice and big on my head I hear this weird siren sound coming from the hallway.

At first I’m like.. ok, weird noises again… but it didn’t stop, and now i’m like.. oh shit. what the hell is that? The shampoo is still in my hair but I step out of the shower to see the fire alarm light in the bathroom flashing in my eyes telling me, “Haha you’re fucked now!”…[Keep Reading]

Wooing the ladies: Tip #1

Wear a black top hat and walk around with a cane. The ladies will be falling at your feet left and right and you wouldnt even be able to stop them if you wanted to.

Wooing the ladies: Tip #2

Use the pick up line “I heard your heart strings from across the room…”…[Keep Reading]

I’ve figured it out. If I was rich all my problems would disappear.

Benefits:
• I could pay for college with no need to take out any loans (not that I can anyways).
• I could eat real food every day. I’m getting sick of squirrel meat.
• I could buy sweet things such as a Ferrari, a private spaceship, or Google.
• I would be expected to smoke cigars. Thats just manly.
• Two words. Midget army…[Keep Reading]