Beer for Brains

Friday January 19th.
Does that date sound or look special in any way? To me it looks exactly like last friday besides the numerical difference. Apparently however, it is the most specialistbestist day in the history of all fridays.
Why?
Because some mexican calling center code named “The Department Of The United States Congress of Finances” decided […]

First off…I flew back to California this past Sunday.
Oh yeah, that was fun.

First flight was supposed to depart at 3 PM, well…yeah. Those ass holes at the airport weren’t going to let that happen. So this Korean lady…

Actually. Let me backtrack really fast and talk about the previous night.

All of Saturday I was busy cleaning up my apartment to look all nice and shiny for my NaziLady/Landlord. She’s a bitch. Anyways, somehow there was a shit load of garbage. Seriously, I have no fucking clue where all of it came from…[Keep Reading]

Yeah, so I’m trying out a video post/message…[Watch Video]

A German woman is suing a foster agency, after her teenage foster son ruined valuable naked photos of her - by comitting an act of self-love all over them.

Marietta Anton, 50, who now lives in Portugal’s Algarve, was 25 when she was photographed naked by her boyfriend at the time, Sigmar Polke. After they split Polke went on to become a world famous artist, and the old pictures were valued at over £35,000.

But when Anton’s 15-year-old foster son Mehmet found the old snaps, he thought he had unearthed a secret porn stack, and proceeded to do what teenage boys will do…[Keep Reading]

At the moment we are completely redesigning the site, so you can look forward to that.

We also have finals and such this week so don’t be expecting many postings if any m’kay?

If you write us angry emails I’ll punch you in the face.

…[Comment]

So its the morning of Tuesday the 5th and i’m taking a shower at 10-something AM for my 11AM class.

Well right as the frothy soap suds of my shampoo start to get nice and big on my head I hear this weird siren sound coming from the hallway.

At first I’m like.. ok, weird noises again… but it didn’t stop, and now i’m like.. oh shit. what the hell is that? The shampoo is still in my hair but I step out of the shower to see the fire alarm light in the bathroom flashing in my eyes telling me, “Haha you’re fucked now!”…[Keep Reading]

I was recently contacted by a BeerForBrains visitor through email.

They pointed me towards their own site.
Its a website dedicated to bums, hobos, and homeless people.

Apparently they go to different cities and talk to these people and then post about it on their site. I went to it. It was rather funny.

The one I read was about some guy that stared at oncoming traffic all day.
While constantly blinking…[Keep Reading]

After viewing my music videos many people have voiced concern about my current mental state.
On many accounts I have been told that I need to get out of my apartment more.
And apparently quite a bit of people wouldn’t be surprised if I talked to myself.
The consensus is that I’m a loony.
Great. Just great.

First off, there isn’t anything to do in Portland. I mean…I guess there are a lot bums that I could hang out with. Actually now that I think about it there are enough bums for an organized sporting event…[Keep Reading]

Wooing the ladies: Tip #1

Wear a black top hat and walk around with a cane. The ladies will be falling at your feet left and right and you wouldnt even be able to stop them if you wanted to.

Wooing the ladies: Tip #2

Use the pick up line “I heard your heart strings from across the room…”…[Keep Reading]